Mind Numbing

Silver Point on panel

Inspiration

From Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's Knitting Rules

In the end, the reason we fill our houses with it, visit it in yarn shops, speak of it in glowing terms, and hoard it with passion is that it is pure potential. Every ball or skein of yarn hold something inside it, and the great mystery of what it might be can be almost spiritual. These six balls of wool could be a shawl my mum puts around her shoulders when she's cold, or maybe it's a blanket a friend wraps her baby in. Maybe that baby takes a shine to it and it becomes his beloved companion blankie, comforting him for years. and years. Maybe it's a sweater that my daughter is wearing the day she gets her first kiss, and from then on my yarn is part of her memory of that day. Maybe, just maybe, those six balls are a scarf and hat that get tucked away for years and long after I'm gone someone pulls them out and says, "Remember how Grammy was with all the wool? Remember how she knit all the time?" fingering the soft wool and pondering who I was and what I did while I was here.

It's a mystery, each ball of yarn...and I don't know what each one is going to be or what life it will take when I finally set needles to it. But each one will be something I made with my own two hands. The yarn, then- my whole big sweeping stash- is the stuff of dreams.

New Work

Embroidered version of my painting of Will, and a Plein air pastel painting done on a SUPER sunny hot day...poor model was melting!

Painting Cozy

Experimenting with knitted elements

Paintings

Top painting is in progress, you can see the underpainting in the left corner. Bottom painting still needs some work, this one has been about 2 sessions.

Will Update

Worked on this for 2 more sessions. The color is greyed out in the scan, it is MUCH more brilliant in life.

Fever induced Lucidity

As I was showering today I had a thought. I have been wrestling with how things tie together. I am a painter in oils, egg tempera, and ink. I make and use pastels. I draw with pencil and charcoal. I knit, sew, cook, and dye yarn. It is not just MAKING. It is decision making. I have an internal monologue when I work. "Make this color warmer, or add more white"...I am literally saying this in my head. When I knit, I think about how the pattern should look. I know the decrease should come at a certain point, and I mentally remind myself to check the fabric at the right moment. I am making decisions. These decisions decide whether a painting goes in a gallery or lingers in a closet. The decide if yarn becomes a garment or gets balled up a hidden in frustration. Sometimes I feel like it is "my gut", that I just feel a color is right. That is one of the reasons I like pastel, just for the thrill of choosing the exact right color.

I do not think it is just me. I am sure professional athletes do this. Our lives are a series of decisions, and perhaps, when you look at my paintings, you see my life.